Monday, February 4, 2008

Huts on the beach: Post # 3


I couldn't catch a pig... It angered me so much that I kicked a bush and a couple birds flew out looking at me in bewilderment. Afterwards I felt guilty on being so violent when I didn't achieve something. I looked into the distance where the lazy boys sat watching as the sunset. There expressions were inscrutable when the sun rays blinded my eyes. It was beyond irritating that I, the older one, had to sit behind Ralph as the hunter. I couldn't even hunt good enough to catch a pig. But when the next days arrives I will be ready to attack them. I pushed past a thick clump of tendril and placed my self on a log. I watched Ralph lifting an oppressive log. I fingered the barbed wood on the end of my long spear. The water glimmered as the last moments of sunshine fell behind the deep blue sea. I made a furtive glance at the rest of the boys who were lolling, some were beginning to sleep. I slipped away from them heading up the mountain to the pigs. I whipped past some festoon that was winding it's self on a great palm. The flowers seemed to be showing off in a flaunt manner. I ignored thm because I heard the sqeals of pigs near by. I lifted my spear, this time I was ready...

2 comments:

DJ said...

I couldn't catch a pig... It angered me so much that I kicked a bush and a couple birds flew out looking at me in bewilderment.

Like always you never cease to amaze me Leyla, that part was good showing jack's anger for not being able to catch a pig so he is kicking things in a rage of hatred towards the pigs.

William said...

Great Job! You did excellent using detail. But...

I thought that you could have incorporated a ending that involved you arguing with Ralph since I feel that that was the essential focus of the Blog.

Otherwise, great job!